Needing nothing attracts everything! The only moments of happiness are when the mind is empty from neediness.
Russell Simmons, Entrepreneur, author, activist and philanthropist
One of my besties called in utter desperation about a relationship she is in that isn’t working. Mind you, this said relationship hasn’t been working for the past year. For her birthday a few months ago, I bought her the Radiate Love Moonstone bracelet and The Enchanting Five necklace for this very reason. Her constant complaining about her defunct relationship was upsetting and I knew that Moonstoon gemstones would help. Little did I know how much.
On this night, I had to call in support because she was so upset. Three of us jumped on a Zoom call and gave her the space she needed to talk. After a few minutes, I asked her “Hey, where is the bracelet and necklace we got you for your birthday.” She said, “In my bedroom, they’re too pretty to wear, so only on special occasions.”
I told her “This IS a special occasion, they will help, now go put them on and come back out.”
While the 3 of us truly wanted to be supportive of our friend's plight, we knew this guy would never give her what she wants in the relationship. We also knew that there were areas of her life that were out of control, like her work and finances, because she was obsessed with this person and nothing else mattered.
I brought up the Russell Simmons quote and she sat back and started fiddling with her bracelet. “You think I’m needy?” Oh boy, how do we answer that question without hurting her feelings?
“That isn’t the point of that quote.” I explained. “The point is you don’t need him to be happy and in fact, he is making you miserable. Why are you chasing something that isn’t working? Girl, it’s time to erase and replace. You are worth it.”
Our sage and smudge guru started chanting the mantra “Don’t chase, erase and replace.” HA! Amazing, we all chimed in. With 4 people on a Zoom call, it got quite loud and the energy shifted. We started having fun, instead of letting her stay in a space of sadness and frustration. I put on some music and made her stand up and chant along with us. “Don’t chase, erase, and replace.”
When we calmed down, she felt energized and it was at that very moment we knew it was now or never. We needed a breakthrough.
“When you need nothing, you have everything,” our wisest friend told her. “You don’t need this guy. You don’t ‘need’ any guy. It’s a shift in perception from ‘need’ to ‘awaken’ and ‘believe in miracles’, ‘believe in yourself’ and ‘believe in mutual love’. Nail on the head.
We were all moved and it made sense.”Once you let go of needing him, you will let him go.” A beautiful and spiritual moment we all embraced until she said “And the dude is a total loser anyway.” Yep, there she is, our New Yorker who never holds back.
I noticed a shift in her perception. She grasped what we were conveying and it was finally hitting home. Needing something can create desperation around it and that negative energy or “vibe” as we like to say, is not pure, it is dark. These very moments are when we say
DON’T CHASE: ERASE & REPLACE.
She asked us “So, I should start looking for a better guy then” and we all shouted, “NO, that is not the point.” I’m sure my neighbors got an ear full.
“The point is that you stop chasing what you believe this guy has to offer and let him go. You erase him from your life and energy and you replace your thought from ‘I need him’ to ‘I am awakened to what true love is and I am open to allowing the Universe to bring me my perfect love’ and you let it go.” For a moment, I was quite impressed with myself. Four years of ministerial school were paying off.
I suggested we all write it down on paper and put it all over our home as a reminder that when you realize you don’t “need” anything, but “desire” something, the Universe responds.
I knew she had reached an understanding of this concept and I pointed out her Moonstone necklace and bracelet. I explained to her where Moonstone comes from and that it is known for divinity, balance and tenderness. I told her to wear it every day, so the gemstones can protect her energy and keep her surrounded in unconditional love, which she deserves.
I explained that in moments of weakness, which we all have, and if she feels like reaching out to him, that she close her eyes, touch the Moonstone bracelet, while repeating her loving mantras, so she can shift out of the negative energy of “needing” to reach out to him and open herself to the “awakened” energy that she is enough.
Our nearly 5-hour Zoom meeting was productive and ended up being a lot of fun as well. There may have been a glass of wine or two toward the end, in celebration of her renewed energy and understanding of the concept “Don’t Chase: Erase & Replace.”
A few days later, I group texted all the girls to see how our friend was doing and keep our support and love flowing. I didn’t tell her that I was stalking her on Instagram and Facebook and noticed she had removed all of his pictures and changed her status to ‘single’. Or that she was constantly quoting our conversation.
We all Zoomed later that afternoon and she looked completely different. Her vibe was easy and she had a smile on her face. “What’s up,” we asked her.
She told us that she broke up with him that very night we all talked. As we thought, he didn’t respond well and began being the “needy” one, promising her the world and that he would “change” and pay more attention to her. She said it was the hardest thing she had ever done because she loved him.
She stuck to her mantras, wore her Moonstone bracelet and necklace, and knew that there was someone else out there that would be perfect for her. When he started chasing her, it gave her a first-hand look at how she had been for the past year and she was embarrassed.
We all started talking over each other to convince her not to feel that way. Our wise friend said “We know what we know and what we don’t know will always reveal itself. No reason to punish yourself for loving someone.” Wowza, as always, knocked it out of the park.
This true story isn’t going to end by telling you that she found an awesome guy. But it will end with the fact that she did fall in love, deeply and profoundly, with herself. It wasn’t easy and it didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen and she stuck to it with her mantras and her Moonstone gemstones when it was the hardest. She revealed to me that there were nights where she wanted to cave and give in. Yeah, we get it.
In a private Zoom call, I asked her why she didn’t call me and she said that she was starting to understand how important self-love is and her mantras kept her focused. She also told me that she had done her research on the Tourmaline Feng Shui Tree Of Life for self-love, positivity, strength and is infatuated with the gemstones and energy map it comes with and has been focusing on that every evening, instead of on her relationship.
She was happy and that made us all really happy too.
The moral to the story is: You don’t “need” anything, but you “deserve” everything that makes you happy. So, if there is an area in your life that is not fulfilling you with love vibes, then simply live by and chant “Don’t Chase: Erase & Replace” your thought process and keep Moonstone and Tourmaline handy at all times.
Much love from your Karma and Luck family.